Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
