Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
