you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
