we're blogging at a bar
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i love accidental penises.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
