I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize