I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
