yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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