so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
