His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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