chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
