I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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