Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
