I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
