Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
