There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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