with your own penis?
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
