I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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