I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The uberlube is also flammable
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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