best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
