Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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