the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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