Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
