How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
