i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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