im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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