If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just tell him i said nine months
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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