she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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