Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
