I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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