Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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