He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
