Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize