you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
