i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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