And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
