Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
