so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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