you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
