I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
