He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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