do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
