The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
