sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
