We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
