Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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