how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
