What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
