whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We're not piercing ourselves today.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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