dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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