Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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