So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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