Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
