My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
