I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
