Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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