btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
