did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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