2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
