Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
