tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
