Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
